BREAKING: Burger mural returns to MLK Blvd.

Name of painter, painter’s age, of (painter’s residence), paints.

Photo by (photographer’s name)

After being deemed a non-“news source” yesterday by the (now Fayetteville-free) Free Weekly – erroneously referred to as “new and improved” – we decided it was high time we do some serious gumshoe work.

You know, the real deal, Capital J, investigative, “hard” news, so-good-it-should-be-behind-a-paywall type of reporting.

So here you have it. Real news.

Wait, you know what? Stop reading this. We’re going to print it onto pieces of paper and then stack them inside large metal boxes around town next Thursday instead. Sound good? No? Fine.

FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. – Lead paragraph that provides a clear and concise overview of the main point. (Think ‘Paul the painter, mural, Friday morning, Brenda’s Bigger Burger on MLK Blvd, paintbrush, need for a new coat of paint’)

Quote from the employee on duty.

— Employee on duty

Background paragraph that clearly outlines the evolution of the story. Make sure to assume that the reader has no prior knowledge of the subject, even if it’s basically a rite of passage in your city.

“Quote from the employee on duty,” said the employee on duty. “Stick this sentence in there, too. It helps illustrates the point more effectively than you, the reporter.”

Complementary paragraph, such as the history of the subject. We usually put this information at the end of the piece, after the most important and timely information is discussed.

Excerpt from The Free Weekly – Aug. 25, 2010: