Hogs Guy Recaps: Alabama vs. Arkansas

Hey. I am Hogs Guy. And I L-O-V-E the Arkansas Razorbacks. They’re a one of the best college-footballing teams the country. Hands down. Face down. Touch down. And even though the Hogs have Heisman President candidate redshirt junior quarterback Ryan Mallett throwing football throws every game, the Razorback team did NOT win the football contest in which they challenged the Alabama Crimson Tides. I, of course, was at the game. Here’s what went wrong in it.

First off, if you didn’t think Ryan Malletts couldn’t score a touchdown pass quick, you’re dumb. Because after the Crimson Tides football-kicked it way down field, Ryan threw it back the other direction to wide receiver Joe Adams. Then he threw it to Ronnie Wingos and Wingos ran it on the OTHER side of the field from every one for a six-pointer touchdown. Ole’ Zach Hocker placekicked a one-pointer extra bonus point for us. And before you knew it, or the Crimson Tides knew it, Arkansas was winners 7-0.

After that, then the game was boring for a few minutes and there were a few punt-kicks. Soon, Alabama and their Heisman President junior running back Mark Ingram ran a run play and the Arkansas defense ran a no-tackle play. Which ended up being pretty dumb because the Crimson Tides scored.

But then, RIGHT after that a few minutes later in the game, Mallett did something like a rush-handoff, pass, pass, rush-handoff, pass, pass, rush-handoff, pass and then Hockers placekicked a three-pointer!!!

We were up 10-7 and Alabama got bored with football. And then Arkansas got really close to scoring when Mallett called an incercept pass play. I don’t know why you call that play because the other team usually gets the football possession back. But it turned out okay because Alabama quarterman Greg McElroy called an intercept pass play, too!

Hogs Guy spotted calling the Hogs on Saturday

More boring football and then Ryan Malletts does a run play to himself for a six-pointer touchdown!


The second half was dumb. Crimson Tides are the #1 footballers and they showed us why we aren’t but were the #10 footballers (now the #15ers). Even though McElroy thought another intercept pass play was a good idea, Ingram and Trent Richardson pushed McElroy down and made him give them the football (but not WHILE he was on the ground, that’s disallowed).

Those two runners kept running and fast and the Arkansas defenses were tired and not as fast. When you do that and then Ryan Mallett calls more intercept pass plays and then the other team scores more points and you don’t score as many as they do, you’re not going to win a lot of your all your games.

Don’t think I’m right? Ask the head coach of Arkansas, Bobby Petrino. He’ll agree with me because Arkansas lost 24-20. And that makes me want to kick buckets hard, in hell. Like SO bad.

And then I remembered something. I’m Hogs Guy. And it’s my duty to spread Razorback cheer to everyone when they need it or don’t need it! So here’s the skinny deal. The Hogs are still the #1 footballers in my book and they should be in yours. The other #1 team just almost lost a game. To US! And now we have spring break this week to get ready for more football contests. We still have Ryan Mallets and they’re awesome wide football recievers. We still have the coaches and Bobby Petrino. We still have a defense that knows football better than last year. And we still have it all!

If there’s one thing I know, it’s the Arkansas Razorbacks and plenty of football knowledge. Mix those two together and you have some good info. Don’t get mad about a losers game, just think about how good of football we’ll throw and run against the Texas A&Ms!

I’m Hogs Guy. Bye.